Dark and Light

"Darkness deserves gratitude. It is the alleluia point at which we learn to understand that all growth does not take place in the sunlight." Joan Chittister

I don't know about you, but during the winter time I tend to sleep a little bit more, I curl up on the sofa and drink a cup of tea after coming in from the cold. The familiarity of my favourite blanket wrapped around me and the warmth of the tea soothes me like a mother soothing her baby to sleep. The darkness of long winter days does that to me, it invites me to soothe myself in ways that are familiar and that speak to my soul.

When was the last time you were grateful for the darkness around you? The dark clouds bringing in the rain to the parched soil under our feet. The dark sky that covers us each night reminding us that it's time to rest, the rhythm of the day naturally giving way into our lives. The darkness that you experience when you close your eyes as you pray. The dark moments in your life that are painful but have stretched you to see yourself in a different light.

We are at the beginning of Spring and the clocks have been forwarded one hour ahead....the cycle of the seasons bring forth more light in our environment, the beginning of spring promises the renewal of the earth. Each year we experience this natural phenomenon, the earth effortlessly regenerating herself.

 Day and dusk interplay in my life, they dance and hold each other gently, soothingly, lovingly. Each one knowing that they have a role to play in each others existence. May it be, that day and dusk befriend each other and commune in my life, for both are beauty and both are a reflection of Divine light. 

I'm sharing a link to a Taize song "De Noche Iremos" the song is in Spanish, but translated the words to the song say this; "By night, we hasten in darkness, to search for living water. Only our thirst leads us onwards, only our thirst leads us onwards."

Poverty

"Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into the places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human." Henri Nouwen

For the past three years, I've been volunteering with the Out of The Cold program at St. Patrick's church in downtown Toronto. For those of you who are not familiar with the program, Out of The Cold is a program geared towards the homeless in the city, providing food and shelter during the winter months. The program provides a warm meal and a safe place to sleep for a night in the church hall. The program runs for the entire winter season, and they serve dinner to approximately 250 individuals each Sunday night and they are able to provide sleeping arrangements for 75 people every Sunday. 

One of the things I have learned in volunteering at the program is that aside from seeing the needs of those that use the program, it gives me an opportunity to see my own needs as well. My needs are different from those that come to the program, I have a place to call home, I have food on my table and a job that provides financial stability. However, just like the homeless on the street I also have a need for connecting with others, I have a need for relationships. My experience in volunteering at the Out of the Cold program has made me realize that we are all in need of creating a place for ourselves and others where we feel safe, welcomed, appreciated and accepted. 

I realize that the Out of the Cold program, is a band-aid solution, it's not solving the issue behind homelessness, it's not solving the reasons why individuals are struggling to make ends meet in the first place and all the issues that arise from living in poverty. Yet, I continue to volunteer, it's my way of connecting to others and a small contribution that I can make to my fellow neighbours. 

I choose to believe that we are in this life journey together. My experience at the Out of The Cold program has made me more aware of my own frailty, my own inner poverty, but most of all of my humanity. It is from this sense of being "real" with my self and with others that I choose to be compassionate towards myself and towards others.

Feel free to click on the link below, and reflect on what the lyrics to the peace prayer by St. Francis means to you. 

To begin again

"Drink from the well of yourself and begin again" Charles Bukowski

I don't know about you, but whenever I think about the month of September, I always think of a new year starting. I believe it has something to do with a new school year, children back at school, summer days slowly fading....life begins to shift once more.

It's almost like pressing the reset button, the opportunity to begin again. Life gives us that opportunity, we have the freedom to choose what we want in our lives, how we want to live and the people we want to surround ourselves with. To reset means to choose again....choose the life you want to live.

This September I'm choosing life once more as my friend, I choose love as my companion and I choose peace as my confidant. I begin again from this day, at this moment in time.

 How do you begin again in your life experiences? How do you start once more to make choices that are life giving for you? What have you chosen to give yourself recently? 

I've always wondered how butterflies make that change, from caterpillar to butterfly. Do they know that there is a change taking place? Do they know what's involved in the process or do they intuitively do what needs to be done in order to let go and transform themselves.  May you find within yourselves the courage, patience, and tenderness needed to begin again....I believe we are all beginning again...every day we wake up...it's an opportunity to press the reset button in our lives.

Being Human

"Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance, the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart. And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again." Oriah Mountain Dreamer 

Over the years I have come to appreciate movement so much in my life...by movement I'm referring to movement of the body. I have had, and continue to have, deep conversations with my body whenever I feel that my emotions are shutting down. I have learned, that my body holds the key to so many of my intentions, thoughts, dreams, hopes and aspirations. My body holds memories and impressions and I believe that it is my vehicle to those parts of myself that have yet to be revealed to myself and to those around me.

One of the things I enjoy doing in my apartment is to dance alone in front of the mirror...I know, perhaps this might sound a little crazy, but for me it's my time to just BE. It is through dance that I'm able to move not only my body, but all the emotions that go with it. I have stopped looking at my body as a separate entity from my mind and soul. Taking care of my body through movement and wholesome nutrition is what liberates and sustains me to be present to those around me. 

This was very evident as I was present to my dad who passed away last month. I noticed that it was a give and take process of being fully present to a parent who was slowly dying, he was growing tired and weary, I was also absorbing his tired spirit and weary body. Those were the days when I made a conscious effort to breathe more deeply and connect to my heart and body more intently. I could feel his pain inside of me and my heart felt the overflowing of love that is felt between two people that have known each other for years. My task during his last few days at the hospital was just to be present to him. I couldn't take the pain away or his discomfort. I could only be present with my heart, mind, soul and body. 

I've been dancing in my apartment these past few days, I've put my favourite music on and danced my heart out...and I like to think that dad is also dancing with me in spirit too. This makes me whole, this is the place and space that I step into to replenish my spirit and body.

What replenishes you in times of sorrow? How do you quench your spirit when you are feeling weary? What space do you take during the day to breathe deeply?  

I invite you to click on the link below, and listen to the song that I've attached, and let the music move you in anyway that it's calling you to move. Listen intently to the music, but most important of all listen reverently to your body, to your soul, your heart...what do you need right now to renew yourself? 

https://youtu.be/j5AUm_xaE9A

Be gentle with yourself, be gentle with others

"We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness." Charlie Chaplin, from the Great Dictator

Every day I take the subway to get to work, it takes me about 25 minutes to get to work not a bad commute especially since I work in the downtown area of the city, with so much chaos, noise and traffic!

On my way to work every morning I have a routine, once I get on the subway I do a silent tree meditation where I imagine myself as a tree and I ground myself to the earth, my roots going deep beyond the subway car, and further still from the tunnel and railway tracks. I imagine my arms as branches that reach way up to the sky where I receive all the love, happiness, healing and peace that my body deserves. Once I feel grounded I turn my attention outward and I look around and I choose three people to pray for on the subway. I do this silently and reverently, and I try to choose people who seem to be having  a rough start to their morning or those who just seem like they could use a hug, such as the student who appears to be anxiously studying for a test reading their highlighted notes, or the man wearing his construction work gear who seems exhausted with his eyes closed trying to get a few more minutes of sleep before he gets off at his stop and head to work, or the teenage girl who is pregnant holding hands with her partner, and I always pray for the subway conductor that they may have a steady hand to conduct the subway to all the different areas of the city. I say this prayer for them in the silence of my heart, "May you be filled with loving kindness, may you be well, may you be peaceful and at ease, may you be happy."

I started this practice years ago and it's so much a part of my daily meditation practice, but it's also a way in which to look out for others on my journey. I don't know the strangers that I pray for, and I may never cross paths with them, but I like to believe that we are all in this journey together so why not be gentle with others, the way I'm gentle with myself. All of us have the capacity to invoke goodness within ourselves and in others, our ability to exchange in positive interactions with others manifesting peace around us.

How are you gentle with yourself? How do you manifest gentleness in your life? How do you share that spirit of gentleness with others?

You Were Created to Live

"The scars healed over into poems." Meggie Royer

Spending time in silence is a practice that I nurture and cultivate in my life, I have learned that my soul requires it, just like the plants require water to thrive, I also require times of reflection...and I choose to honour this need, I no longer hide it from others or from myself. It is also during these times of silence that I find that writing and drawing are manifested inside of me. I'm also aware that what I write comes from a deep source within me, I like to think that there is a deep well inside of me, where I can draw life giving resources from, my place of resilience....the place where I draw strength and light and embrace my life, tenderly, lovingly and nurturing. We all have it inside of us, that place where all our energy lies, where we store our resources and know that we can go to that place of inner knowing, whenever there is a need...

It is from this place that I write and it is from this place that I choose to live.

I dedicate the following poem to all the women who have ever felt that their voices have been silenced by society, by relationships that haven't been fruitful or life giving. I dedicate it to the women who have felt small in the face of adversity, who have felt ashamed for being a woman in cultures where women are not seen as equals but as subservient. I dedicate it to the women who have experienced abuse of any kind, I want you to know that you are more powerful than what you have experienced. And most important of all, I dedicate it to all of you who are reading this, may you know that you are also being called to be true to yourself and to honour who you are as a human being...

A Resurrection Summons

Woman of love...I call you to get up and walk.
I summon you to your resurrection moment.
Walk the path of love that I have prepared for you, it is your path to take.

Woman of deep wisdom...I call you to get up and dance.
I summon you to sway to the beat of the music in your heart.
Move to the rhythm of Spirit in your life.
You were created to dance with the Divine within you.

Woman of strength...I call you to get up from your sleep, it is time to rise.
Love has awaken you to the possibilities around you, love has risen up inside of you shining light in your soul.

Woman of love, wisdom and strength...
I summon you to resurrection.
You were created to love and to live abundantly.

Written by: Karina

Resilient Earth

"I've seen too many stars to let the darkness overwhelm me" Macrina Wiederkher

I spent a week in silence at a retreat house in Guelph this past week, it is a practice of mine to go on a silent retreat on a yearly basis. Some people don't understand my need for that one week of silence, they don't understand the need to unplug myself and go inward and just be....

I spent some time at a retreat house that has acres and acres of farm land, which at the moment is completely covered in snow. It has walking trails where you could walk and explore the land, which I did, relentlessly every day that I was there. It dawned on me as I was walking on these trails, of how desolate the earth looks in the winter time, it looks absolutely peaceful and yet there is nothing growing on the earth at the moment, at least not on our area of the world.

This frozen and desolate land, which, in a few weeks will be thawed out and the land will begin to thrive again, we'll be able to see the rich fertile earth once more and the trees will grow new leaves, flowers will bloom, fruits and vegetables will be abundant. The darkness and stark of winter will give way into spring....it always does, naturally, effortlessly. There is no effort on our part for the cycle to happen, it just does, just as night gives into day, the ocean gives into the earth, a continuous flow of rhythm and energy always evolving.

There is a faith on my part that this will indeed happen...that winter is not forever, darkness in not eternal, I'm hopeful in the earths resilience. I'm hope-filled in my own winter moments, my own reality and my moments of solitude. The stark, desolate spaces within me will give into abundance, and be fertile and thrive....I choose to believe in hope.